Riding the Waves
Emotions Come And Go
Emotions are not permanent. They move through us like waves, sometimes calm, sometimes stormy, and they are not a reflection of our worth or who we are. Feeling sadness, anger, worry, or frustration doesn’t mean something is wrong with you; it simply means you are human. Even the heaviest feelings are temporary, and they will shift if you allow them the space to flow.
Notice Without Judgment
One of the first steps in managing emotions is noticing them without judgment. In DBT, this is called mindfulness: observing your feelings as they come and go, naming them quietly to yourself, and simply acknowledging that they exist. You might say, “I notice I feel anxious right now,” or “I am feeling frustrated.” Labeling emotions helps reduce their intensity and gives your mind some clarity, instead of getting caught in loops of worry or rumination.
Thoughts Shape Feelings
CBT teaches that our thoughts and emotions are connected, and noticing patterns can be empowering. Sometimes strong emotions are amplified by automatic thoughts, like assuming the worst or blaming yourself. Pause and ask yourself: “Is this thought completely true, or is it just a story my mind is telling me?” By gently questioning unhelpful thoughts, you create space to respond rather than react. This doesn’t mean forcing positivity; it means noticing other perspectives that make the emotion feel more manageable.
Tolerate, Don’t Rush
When emotions feel overwhelming, distress tolerance skills can help you stay grounded. This might include deep breathing, grounding your senses, journaling, listening to music, or repeating a calming phrase like, “This feeling will pass. I can ride it out.” These tools don’t erase emotions, but rather they allow you to tolerate them, stay present, and act in line with your values rather than being swept away.
Emotions Are Waves, Not Labels
Remember, emotions are fleeting, not defining. The sadness, anger, or worry you feel are waves that rise, peak, and recede. By observing them, labeling them, and using gentle coping strategies, you are training yourself to move with the waves instead of being pulled under. You are not your emotions, but the person experiencing and noticing them.
Small Practices, Big Growth
Sometimes the most powerful act of self-care is simply allowing yourself to feel without judgment and without rushing. Be patient with yourself as you learn these skills. Celebrate the small victories: noticing an emotion, breathing through it, responding instead of reacting. Each time you practice, you build emotional resilience, self-awareness, and the quiet confidence that you can navigate whatever comes your way.
