Self-care, the Remix
Revisiting “Self-care”
When most people hear “self-care,” they picture bubble baths, cozy socks, indulgent treats, shopping sprees, or scrolling through social media for fun. And yes, those things can be nice, but self-care is much more than feel-good rituals. Real self-care is anything that nourishes your mind, body, and soul… even if it feels uncomfortable, inconvenient, or hard in the moment. Sometimes it’s setting boundaries, having difficult conversations, or taking a rest before pushing yourself to do one more thing. Other times, it’s journaling, going for a walk, or enjoying a cup of coffee. Both are valid, and both count as care.
What Self-Care Is
Self-care is about intentionally choosing what nourishes you. It is not just about comfort! It is also about restoration, growth, and protection. Self-care can be:
Saying no to something that drains your energy
Reaching out for help when you need it
Taking time to process emotions through journaling or therapy
Exercising, eating nourishing food, or getting enough sleep
Engaging in hobbies, creative outlets, or mindful moments
Example: You feel exhausted from overcommitting, so you decline a social invitation. You feel guilty, but your choice protects your energy and mental health. That is self-care.
What Self-Care Is Not
Self-care is not indulgence disguised as care, and it is not the same as avoidance or escapism. It does not mean:
Ignoring responsibilities or letting everything pile up
Overindulging in food, shopping, or alcohol to feel better temporarily
Escaping from emotions instead of experiencing or processing them
Seeking constant pleasure at the expense of long-term well-being
Comparing yourself to what others are doing or what social media suggests
Example: Binge-watching TV for five hours after a stressful day might feel good in the moment, but if it leaves you feeling tired, disconnected, or anxious later, it is not real self-care.
Self-Care Can Be Uncomfortable
Self-care doesn’t always feel easy. Saying “no” or having a difficult conversation can create tension or guilt, but protecting your energy is deeply caring. Seeking therapy, confronting challenging emotions, or exercising when your body feels tired can feel uncomfortable but restorative in the long run. The point is not comfort in the moment; it is what nourishes you over time.
Example: Asking for a raise might make your stomach twist with anxiety, but it honors your worth and is a courageous act of self-care.
Self-Care Can Feel Good
Self-care also includes moments that are soothing and joyful. Taking a long bath, reading a favorite book, or spending time with friends can lift your spirits and recharge your energy. The most effective self-care is a mix: moments that challenge you in healthy ways and moments that bring comfort and joy.
Example: Journaling after a rough day and then enjoying a warm cup of tea is both reflective and soothing. Both count as self-care.
Finding Balance
The magic happens when we combine honoring our needs while also showing up bravely for ourselves. Balance is not about perfection. It is about creating moments that nourish both our hearts and our growth.
Examples:
Going to therapy to talk about something difficult and then taking a quiet walk to decompress.
Cleaning your space even when you do not feel motivated and then lighting a candle once you are done.
Having an honest conversation you have been avoiding and then doing something that helps you feel grounded, like listening to music or stretching.
Saying no to an extra commitment and then spending that time doing something that brings you joy.
Letting yourself feel uncomfortable emotions through journaling and then offering yourself comfort with a favorite meal or show.
Waking up early for a responsibility and then taking a slow, intentional moment just for yourself later in the day.
Setting a boundary with someone and then giving yourself permission to rest afterward.
In Sum
Self-care is personal, intentional, and ongoing. It is about asking yourself: “What nourishes me right now?” Sometimes the answer is comfort, and sometimes it is courage. Both are valid. Start small. Notice what restores you, honors your boundaries, and supports your growth.
